Second Chances

In the summer my brother was sentenced for all the crimes he committed in 2010.  He was given a ‘second chance’ verdict.  Basically he was convicted all of the crimes he committed, (minor felonies) however he was given a ‘second chance.’  His ‘second chance’ would consist of the jail time he had already served + staying clean and seeing a probation officer weekly.  If he did not comply with any one of these terms, he would automatically be sent to prison.

He was clean for 2 weeks.

By Halloween, he was in the hospital claiming illness but really trying to cover up the bender he was on. The hospital alerted the PO and sooner than later my brother was back in front of a judge. In a surprising turn of events, he did not get sentenced to prison.  Instead he was sent to a rehab correctional facility in Northwest Ohio.

I have not spoken to him, however my father goes up to visit him weekly.  The man is a saint, it’s over 3 hours away,  He says that brother is doing well.  He has gained weight and doesn’t look at all like the heroin addict he once was.  He is taking on responsibilities and has become second in command.

I like these updates from my dad.  I like them so much that I was even inspired to write him a letter.  The first contact I have attempted to make in over a year. For some reason I have hope now.

I hope he stays clean forever.

I hope he becomes the brother I used to know and love.

I hope he never sticks a needle in his arm again.

I hope my kids will call him Uncle again.

I hope he learns that he is worth something.

I hope he learns I still love him.

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7 thoughts on “Second Chances”

  1. Oh lord I wish I had hope for you, for me, for all of us sisters of junkee brothers. It is so painful and it never seems to go away… Sitting here contemplating whether to tell my parents that I found a pile of used needles and one very large spoon under my brothers sink this week. So sick of having this conversation “Mom, Dad he is using ‘ no I don’t think so I Know so”. I had this conversation for the first time when I was 19 he was 17 that was 16 years ago! So tired of wanting to save this thing that isn’t even my brother anymore

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  2. Hey I found your blog here, while searching for someone or something, where a recovering addict could find some support. Anyways I read your stuff . I’ve been clean for 3 months now. Still battling my demons and everday its a struggle not to use again. I’ve got a job again and things are starting to look up for the first time since I can remember. All this was possible by my father who for some unknowable reason, took me in when I was at my worst and lowest and found the faith to help me get clean and restart my life, if ever a father loved a son more than mine has loved me, I’ve yet to see or hear of it. Anyways just wanted to say I hope things work out for you and your family and that your brother continues on his journey. My prayers go out to you.

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  3. I have two Brothers. One is dead. They both shot heroin together for a year. The youngest died in February of this year. The other vowed to clean up. We believed all of the BS.

    Yesterday. I’m driving down the street and see his truck on the side of the road and he is slumped over the steering wheel. I lay on the horn. He moves. I get out of my car and ask him whats going on.He starts with the lies. I get back in my car and drive away.I know his time is coming.

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  4. My brother has been a heroin addict for about 7 years. It is nice to finally come across a blog like this where people understand how I feel. The first time he went to rehab years ago, I thought the worst was over. I was obviously wrong. My family tried everything. They even sent him to Florida and set him up with an apartment. We thought it would be a fresh start, since he didn’t know any other junkies in Florida, but we were wrong about that too. He eventually ended up coming back to NY with one of his junkie friends. My parents kicked him out a long time ago and never let him back. He tried saboxone, that didn’t work. Eventually he went into the methadone program. He ended up kicking methadone cold turkey, stayed clean for 6 months. Now he is back on heroin. He entered a treatment center last week but left the next day. We all agreed not to speak to him (he agreed, knowing what pain it causes my family.) I worry about him everyday and have nightmares. I don’t know if or when this will ever end. No one else understands what I am going through, except for all of you guys. Even my boyfriend tries to tell me to tell my brother how upset I am. He knows… there is just nothing that will make him stop. It is one hell of a nasty drug

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