Back to Jail

After 4 moths of sobriety my brother is in jail. Last week he got charged with felony heroin possession.

Here.

We.

Go.

Again. 

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26 thoughts on “Back to Jail”

    1. He was taking medicine for ADD and depression. Growing up he was in special ed and for a while was taking also taking anti anxiety medicine. He has been treated by different doctors. For a while they thought he might be bi-polar or borderline aspergers. He was arrested in May (a few days before his sisters’s high school graduation) for trying to break into somebody’s house and was in jail for 3 months. He was on xanax and said he wasn’t really trying to rob the house but got mixed up on where somebody who sold some drugs told him to pick up drugs….mhm. He doesn’t have health insurance and is now living at a place for addicts who want to get clean. He has tried living there before but he left. Everything you have written about your brother could have been written or might still be written about my son. He has 3 sisters and none of us are looking forward to the holidays.

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  1. Sarah again,

    I lost my brother recently and I have big news, he was clean and on track. Of course not the same person he once was but healthier. I held on to the resentment in his last half year and I was wrong. NEVER GIVE UP ON FAMILY no matter the pain they cause. I love my brother and I know everything happens for a reason. Don’t live in a world of hate because it will make you ill in all aspects of your life. Remember no one in there right mind wants to be addicted to drugs. DON”T GIVE UP because one way or another the craziness will stop. NO ONE IS PERFECT, love unconditionally. Best wishes to all that struggle with a loved one’s addiction problem. FIND A WAY TO LET GO OF THE HATE AND LOVE THEM.

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  2. Your life is MY life. My brother is an addict. Not heroin, but anything he can get his hands on. Crack, meth, pills. You name it. He has been in and out of jail/prison/rehab for 11 years now. He stays clean for months at a time, gives our family hope, and forms new relationships with my kids, only to relapse and begin the cycle all over again. My parents try over and over and over again to “save” him. Last year I made the resolution that if they let him move back in with them once he was released from prison that my kids would no longer be allowed to come around. Somehow I was the bad guy and my decision was unjustified to them. This went on for 8 months. EIGHT months of not spending time at my parent’s house, one that we used to visit every. single. weekend. During that time he moved his addict girllfriend in with them. Lots of bingers, fights (holes in the walls of my new parents home), etc…only to end up back in jail. The past 5 months have been wonderful. My brother was “safe” in jail, and my kids and I were able to spend lots of time with my parents. My parents vowed he would NOT come back to their home, that he would have to move into a facility. He was released today. Guess where he is now? You guessed it…my parents house. And I have already been yelled at by my mother about not letting the kids come over this weekend.

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    1. I hope that you can one day accept your parents decisions. I was so in your shoes, nearly exactly except I was living at home still with all of them. It was so hard for me. But your parents love there son and will NEVER give up on him. Don’t make them choose your family or him. That just causes more hurt and more division. Just be there for the good times. Let go of your hate and accept the situation because no matter how hard you try your parents will do what they want and no matter how hard they try your brother will do what he wants.

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      1. Agreed….A Mothers Love Especially Is Something Like No Other. My Older Brother Wants My Junkie Brother Written Out Of Our Lives…I Had To Tell Him..He Can Do That..But Our Parents Will Never Do That.. My Older Brother Doesnt Have Children…He Doesnt UndersTand. None The Less.. My JuNKie Brother Pisses Me Off All The time..but I Still Hold Hope For Him..Maybe More Because He Has Kids…And I Ache For Them…I Think It Would Be Worse To Have A Junkie Dad Than A Junkie Brother……May God Bless Children Of Junkies…

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  3. There’s something messed up about the way life is when you’re brother is a junkie. When he’s in jail or rehab or prison or maybe living on the other side of the country everything seems calm.

    You don’t worry about the heroin because you don’t see it. You don’t have to deal with him or his drugs. When you talk to him on the phone he seems normal. You don’t notice anything. For a minute, you’re able to believe that your brother is just the same as anybody’s brother.

    And then. You start to ache for him. You miss him and his quirks. You start seeing him in everything you do. Suddenly silly stories from your childhood seem important. And you find yourself talking nonstop about him. You miss the guy you used to know. And he keeps you up at night thinking about how things used to be.

    And then. He gets out. He comes home from wherever he was. And then you see it again. You see his addictions and his problems. And you have to deal with it all over again.

    And then. Once again, your life is a living hell.

    Over and over again. If only there was a way to stop this cycle, besides the obvious-death.

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    1. 😦 My Mother Did Cpr On My Brother..Medicss came..Revived. It Darn Near Killed My Mom. I Am An Rn..Supposed To Be Able To Understand This Crap..But I Dont..I Cant Imagine What U Went Thru..Im So Sorry..

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  4. My 22 year old sister is a heroin/crack addict. In and out of jail. A thief. A master liar and manipulator. I’m still amazed at her ability to turn any argument around and blame her accuser. I love her. I’m tired. Here. We. Go. Again. Is. Right.

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  5. Reading You Blog Has Been Good For Me. I Often Feel Frustrated And Alone…. My Brother Is A Junkie..heroin…Has Hep C..TWo Children..My Mother Recently Found Him Pulsless..Did Cpr..Medics revived…Going On 12 Years Of Drugs..Not Sure If There Is Anything He Hasnt tried.. Makes Me Sick…Pisses Me off.. Thx For Your Blog..i Hope For Health And Happiness

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  6. Has anyone found any hope for any of their family members? My brother is bad on heroin and Opeanas ( i think that is the spelling). They are pills that he melts down and shoots. He recently got beat up and had to get stitches in his face. I believe he deserved it but still hard to see when your brother is 130 lbs. Hes 21 young, I keep thinking hes young enough to pull out of it, but he doesnt seem to want help, or admit he has a problem. I want to distance myself because I have my life to live but Im having trouble.

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    1. No Luck With My Junkie Brother…Sooo Disheartening…..So Much Money.SoMuch Rehab…He Even Completed One Year Of Intense Outpatient Rehab…A Month Later…Back To Good Ol Fn Heroin again..HeS Only 30. Has Two Kids Now…Has Hep C…And Recently Od’d And My Mom Had To Do Cpr On Him…They Were Just Meeting For Lunch…..I Feel Mad At Him For The Trauma He Has Caused My Whole Family.Im Mad For The Pain He Will Cause His Children When Hes Dead….Im Sad I Cannot Save Him…I Feel Angry And Hopeless…I Feel Your Pain…May You Be Blessed With Good Health And Joyous Events

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  7. My brother is a heroin addict as well, and I’ve been dealing with this decline for several years before he turned to heroin. He is 21 and has bipolar, depression, and oppositional disorder. I feel like he is delusional. Nothing we say resinates with him. I’m constantly on guard waiting for the call that he is dead. Or in jail. I hate that there’s really no hope that things will get better. But at least now I feel a little less alone.

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  8. I looked up “my daughter is a junkie” and found this site. I have only read these comments but am going to read older posts. Thank you all~I don’t feel so alone

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  9. My brother is a junkie too. Anything he can put in his veins he will. He’s currently in the hospital in extremely critical condition and not expected to live. He shoots up with dirty needles sometimes. This is the second time we’ve been through this. We’ve been through multiple jail sentences and binges. Last time he was given a free heart valve. Nothing makes them stop. My family is exhausted. We’ve spent a week at the hospital, dreading that he’ll die. I sometimes feel ashamed of loving my brother. I always feel stupid for trusting him when he goes back to the drugs. He was clean for almost a year this time. I’m really tired and really angry at him this time. But I also miss him.

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  10. My kid brother has been an addict for 6 years and a heroin addict for the last 5 years..my older brother who was murdered in 01 I believe suffered from a gambling addiction and was killed BC of debt. My family is pretty screwed up after the loss of my brother and even more screwed up dealing with the heroin addict now.. I’m so tired of dealing watching listening to screaming fighting lies stealing .. Sometimes I try and men

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  11. My older brother is junkie as well. He had such a comfortable life and he managed to fuck it all up with every drug in the book, heroin being his ultimate demise. He’s only 19 and he’s fucking homeless in LA robbing people and getting robbed. I honestly don’t give a shit about him anymore, he’s gonna die or end up in prison any day I’m sure of it. I’m only a year and half younger than him and I couldn’t imagine making the choices that he makes.

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  12. Im 13. My brother is 20 and his name is nik. He got out of jail and went strait to in patient rehab. He got out on porol. He is acting crazy. He screams at me and lushes me around. He calls me nasty names and makes sexual comments. He have been hurting my cat. He pushes him and squezzes him till he meows. My mom doesn’t do anything about it. My dad I havent seen for over 7 years. I only have my mom and brother. I want to kill myself but I cant leave my mom with him, my brother will kill himself or end up dead then my mom will go insane.

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