2 Months Ago

2 months ago I watched my brother almost die. I am still watching him die. Since that day in the hospital, we have learned so much about the past year of my brother’s life. His girlfriend has essentially been keeping him high. She provides him the drugs and he uses. After my brother’s stay in the hospital we all rallied around him in hopes of getting him into a long term treatment program. At first his girlfriend seemed supportive but then we realized that she is the biggest hurtle in his recovery.

She keeps him high. 

I have no idea why she does this especially since she is a mother. But she does. She has told us that she knows “what meds” he needs to be on. This is why he carries 10 bottles of psychotropic pills, benzos, xanax, and anything else she will get him in his book bag that never leaves his side. She provides him the demons that fuel his 12 year addiction.

She is sick. He is sick. Together they are a co-dependent tsunami just waiting to destroy.

Last week on my birthday, my brother got on a plane and went to a long term rehab. Today she flew him home. At the rehab he was combative and on all sorts of drugs and had little interest in even trying to get clean.

I am sad but I am not sad. He isn’t the boy I know. My brother died a long time ago and I think it’s about time I get used to that fact.